From Nearest Distant Shore:

A is for Age: 40
B is for Booze: Summer: Mojitos and Tanqueray & Tonics; Winter: Amontillado sherry and red wine (especially my homemade meads)
C is for Career: Jack of all trades, master of none
D is for Dad’s name: Dad
E is for Essential Item to bring to a Party: Homemade bread always seems to be popular, as does homemade goat cheese (all parties here seem to be potluck)
F is for Favorite Songs at the Moment: Okra (Olu Dara); So Nice (Astrid Gilberto); Sugar (Nina Simone); Corinna (Taj Mahal); Margueritaville (Jimmy Buffett)
G is for Goof-off thing to do: Lie on the couch and do crossword puzzles; daydream about our fall beach trip
H is for Hometown: Born in Tallahassee, Fl; grew up in Woodstock, Ga; Hot Springs, NC is my home now, and I hope, forever
I is for Instrument you play: None, but I like to sing
J is for Jam or Jelly you like: Not crazy about jams and jellies; I do, however, like red current jelly and elderberry jam
K is for Kids: Two incredible daughters: ED, almost 14 (gasp!), and Bernard, 9 and a half
L is for Living arrangement: 85 acre rented farm with DH and the girls; soon to be somewhere else
M is for Mom’s name: Mom
N is for Names of best friends: Can’t give actual names of course; M*, A*, D*, S*—oh, wait–there may be no end to this list, so I’m going to stop right now. Cute acronym, though, huh?
O is for overnight hospital stays: None that I know of
P is for Phobias: None, really, but an occasional panicky spell at the sensation of time passing
Q is for Quote you like: Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
R is for Relationship that lasted longest: My current one with DH—18 years this winter
S is for Siblings: Three sisters, two brothers; all younger
T is for Texas, ever been?: Drove across the state in a dust storm back in the late 80′s or early 90′s
U is for Unique trait: I couldn’t come up with one! Somebody help me—surely there is something…
V is for Vegetable you love: Okra. Collards in the fall and winter. A fresh, ripe homegrown tomato. Yellow crookneck squash. I could go on.
W is for Worst traits: My foul temper and equally foul mouth.
X is for Xrays you’ve had: Teeth, spine (at the chiropractor), and probably my collarbone
Y is for Yummy food you make: Cakes, fried fish, hushpuppies
Z is for Zodiac sign: Gemini

I feel compelled to admit how scary I find this part of the process of trying to buy land. The financing part of it, I mean. It looks as though we, thanks to the help of a kind friend, will be able to make a good downpayment on a property; after that it’s up to us, and I am sort of dreading the process, not only of all the paperwork and money, but also having to lay our lives bare for the judgement of somebody I don’t even know! The thing is, we’ve made the choice numerous times in the past 18 years to pursue things other than money. We are quite wealthy in terms of family, friends, community, skills, knowledge, animals, and tools. We are somewhat (ahem) less wealthy in terms of money and credit. And while I can look around me and see that I have surrounded myself with things of true value, I’m not so sure a bank or a mortgage company is going to agree with me!

So those are just some of the thoughts whizzing through my head at 3 o’clock in the morning! I am trying to find a way to balance those thoughts with more positive ones; a way to keep my stress at a low simmer instead of a rolling boil!

Cin at It’s Raining Again tagged me for this meme, and I’ve only just now found the time and mental energy to do it. Besides which, I got a little overwhelmed at the thought of counting my books…

The Rules:
Take the top name/link off the list below. Add your blog (with an embedded link) to the bottom of the list and paste the blognames/links into your post.

1. Soliloquy
2. Third World County
3. BTW
4. It’s Raining Again
5. Moonmeadow Farm

Total books owned, ever:
I really have a hard time even guessing. I mean, ever? OK, I just made a quick pass through the living room, kitchen, and my bedroom, and counted 670-ish. There are probably 20 or 30 loaned out, and I’m not counting kids’ books, or textbooks. So for total books ever owned…maybe 3 times that? 2010-ish?

Last book(s) I bought:
Reversible Errors by Scott Turow, The Secret Country by Pamela Dean (for ED), and a crossword dictionary.

Last book I read:
Reversible Errors

Five books that mean a lot to me:
I’m trying to think of books that made a big impact on me when I read them; it’s kind of hard to remember, because then, after a while, they become part of your way of thinking. So anyway, here goes:

1. Always Coming Home by Ursula K. Le Guin

2. Wise Child by Monica Furlong

3. The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley

4. Healing Wise by Susun Weed

5. Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon

That was really hard! I immediately thought of twenty more books that should’ve been on the list…

Five New Victims: ( I could only come up with three)
1. Frank at Let It Grow
2. Amy at Littlebear Holler
3. Mom at Musings

Tag! You’re it!

The cake turned out fine, of course—it always does, in spite of my freaking out every time I make one. The bride was happy, so I was happy. DH and the girls went with me to deliver it, because I needed their help. DH had to drive me to H.S., because I am now an outlaw driver; when I tried to renew my driver’s license last week….well, long story short, I need a copy of my divorce papers from 1980-something, otherwise there is no way to prove that I’m not a terrorist. So I’m working on it. And I needed the girls today to climb the magnolia tree and get me flowers for on the cake. So it was a family affair, which was very fun.

The girls’ latest project has been making clay ovens. They went up the mountain and dug clay, and brought it home and shaped it into these marvelous little dome-shaped ovens, that are about six or eight inches across. Today they burnished them with sticks; I think they may have slept with them last night. Yesterday they took a freshly killed chipmunk away from one of the cats, skinned it and cleaned it, and tried to roast that in one of the ovens. I think the cat had the last laugh, though—she grabbed it when they weren’t looking. The skin, too, which was a shame, because it was gorgeous–they were going to tan it. Never a dull moment.

I’m baking a wedding cake today—my only big one this summer, which is just as well, as my kitchen is becoming less functional by the day. This will be a chocolate velvet cake with swiss meringue buttercream and raspberry filling. I’m sure it will turn out just fine, but I’m really sort of dreading it. Oh well.

DH is off looking at the property that we’re really hoping to buy. I am refusing to feel excited about it, as I feel I just don’t have it in me to deal with the disappointment if it doesn’t work out; aren’t I a baby? Of course, somewhere down in there I secretly am terribly excited—it’s all a charade, this cynicism.

OK—I’m sure my butter has softened enough, and I have no good reason to procrastinate any longer. I’ll leave you with a thought for the day:

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk before me for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

We sold the sheep yesterday; no more Shetlands for us. It was a little sad—living in the yard the way they were, they had gotten pretty friendly and tame. But I need a sheep that is A) bigger (for meat), B) more domesticated (so that we can do crazy things like catch them, shear them, worm them…) and C) more fenceable (for obvious reasons). I think we’re going to look for a small flock of Cotswolds this fall at SAFF.

Here’s what Nathan Griffith says in his book Husbandry:

…and the best meat and wool was the whitefaced Cotswold. Speaking of Cotswold
sheep, we loved these animals so much, we finally got rid of all our other
sheep. They produce huge amounts of wool only equaled in quality by Lincolns.
They produce meat of a clean, tasty character which is so good one has little
craving for beef. Probably the two best features of this calm-natured breed
are their hardiness and ease of feeding. The nearest thing to them, the
Lincolns, had to be fed better than ourselves! They’d trample the best hay in
their incessant search for “just another” grain. And withal they remained bony
and thin, though they did grow wool! The Cotswolds are the most respectful of
fences of any sheep we kept.

So, anyway, that’s the plan. For now it just feels good to be reducing our livestock to a bare minimum in preparation for moving. It’s sort of sad to not have sheep, though.

Last night we had a little lady’s only coffee klatch at my friend D*’s. Actually, it turned out to be more of a red wine, cheese, and chocolate klatch. If there is such a thing.

I felt this peculiar sense of pride sitting around the kitchen table with these fabulous women, as if I had conjured them up myself; looking around at each of them thinking, “You! And you! And you! Look at how amazing and capable and beautiful you are! How smart and strong and funny! What inspiring mothers and loving people!” I am astounded at my good fortune.

Sorry. I’m gushing.

In addition to the lovely food, and the delightful company, there were birthday gifts! For me! The funniest had to have been the Housewives Tarot. The box says:

Within this box lie the secrets of domestic empowerment. Begin your journey by
lifting the lid, dealing out your fate, and understanding the hidden messages of
The Housewives Tarot. Through images of dinnerware (pentacles), martini glasses
(Cups), mops and brooms (Wands), and much more, these tarot cards can answer all
of life’s most challenging questions. Guaranteed by the Housewife
Occultists of America.

A* did a reading for me and the general consesus was that I have some issues with selfishness and greed. Nothing new there!

Then, as I drove out of D*’s driveway, there, waiting like a personal benediction for each of us, was the big, fat, juicy peach of a moon.

A perfect evening.

Yesterday was my fortieth birthday, and, so far, I think this is my favorite age to have turned. Forty is great! I’m finally a grown-up. I like my face and body now more than I have in years. I’m happy in my marriage—even when I want to strangle him—and my kids are more wonderful than I could ever have imagined. I’m doing what I want to be doing, and am well on the road to doing even more of it.

My life is perfect. And that is my assessment of turning forty.

Giftwise, yesterday was fabulous. Some highlights: A new Cuisinart ice cream maker (remember last summer’s ice cream diet, which came to an abrupt and premature halt when I broke the ice cream maker?)—thanks M*! You know just what a girl needs! An absolutely gorgeous handmade card from the girls that I would love to post a photo of, but, being camera-less, it ain’t gonna happen. The card was accompanied by a bouquet of wild pink roses in a mason jar, and an organic dark chocolate bar. How do you all know me so well? And DH gave me a beautiful necklace of pearls and antique glass beads that A* made.

I am truly a lucky girl.